Don’t Dream It’s Over

lhs steps

I once had a friend who I would sit next to on these gray, cement steps of our high school stairwell at the end of the day and we would share stories and chocolate bars from the vending machine around the corner.  A friend who I laughed with, often, and created secret handshakes with and rode sleds with down the woodchip path in the forest behind the baseball field in the winter.  A friend who wore a faint cluster of freckles across his nose, who wore glasses and hooded sweatshirts.  A friend that I spent afternoons with, running the shiny, speckled hallways, leaving rubber residue in our tracks.  A friend who joked with me, poked fun at me, who always, always made me smile.  A friend who loved his family, who posed awkwardly with me in a group snapshot, all teeth and tangled arms, the night of the prom.  A friend whose faded photo from that night still sits wrinkled, but folded in the far back slot of my wallet.

livingston path

A long time ago on this day, I heard a story.  About how after listening to the lyrics of Crowded House’s most popular song, that friend told someone close although he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, he was overcome with sadness at the sound of it.  And this stuck with him.  The same way those very lines stick with me even now, every time I hear them.  Unexpectedly, surprisingly, all at once.  Every single time.  Like when I’m in the checkout line at CVS or in a bookstore with my daughter or in the car by myself in the middle of a clear, bright day.  The song seems to speak of the moment, telling us to embrace life, to hold on tight to even the tiniest shred of hope that there is a better outcome despite all of life’s insurmountable challenges.  And there are a lot of them.  But there is so much good stuff, too.  The lead singer of the band told the magazine, Goldmine, that it was essentially about how he was, “on the one hand feeling kind of lost, and on the other hand sort of urging myself on.”  I would love to blink back to those gray, cement steps of our high school stairwell and urge my friend on.

As I start this new chapter in my own life today, I would be remiss if I didn’t recognize it as one of the most notable dates in my calendar, poignant and heavy and heart-wrenching altogether.  I would be remiss if I didn’t think about where he might be in his life at this moment had things been different.  And I would be remiss if I didn’t reflect on how that title, those four little words that crept into my head a decade ago and never really found a way out, have changed my perspective.  I once had a friend who gave me so much more than he could ever have envisioned.  He gave me memories.  He continues to give me perspective.  And for that I am grateful.


  1. So very beautifully written. Heaven gained an Angel that day. Love You G!

  2. Beautiful memory. Sad day. I too remember this date all too well . Hard to believe 10 years has passed. Thank you for reminding us all of the reason to “urge on.”

  3. Beautifully well written. Moving.

  4. Beautiful, Gina! I feel like I knew him too! He lives on in you.

  5. Jonathan Ehrlich

    April 1, 2014 at 8:42 PM

    Amazing and beautifly written article that just brought my wife to tears. He was lucky to have you as a friend and we’re lucky to be able to read you put together a piece like this.

  6. Annie Sutherland

    April 1, 2014 at 9:29 PM

    Beautiful! You have always been such a wonderful writer. Can’t wait to read more!

  7. Thank you for being so open and honest, and for opening your heart to us all. It’s incredibly refreshing and inspiring. I so look forward to tuning in to see what else you have to share.

  8. One of the wonderful things about teaching and coaching for a living is that I get to marvel at how some young people have grown into such amazing adults.
    What a beautifully written piece, and what a wonderful gift to our whole family.
    Thank you


      April 3, 2014 at 9:32 AM

      it means so much to me that any and all of you have been touched by this piece, but no one more than you, mr. ehrlich, and your family, so thank you!

  9. Beautiful! I hope the memories of and with your friend continue to bless your life and your heart forever!

  10. Well that was beautiful and I am sitting hear thinking about a friend I lost with tears streaming down my face. Same thing different song. Thank you

    • pumpkin + rose

      April 11, 2014 at 1:02 PM

      deirdre, i am so happy that this piece resonated with you. hope that it brought back some wonderful memories that you and your friend shared.

  11. So beautifully written! I’m sorry for the loss of your friend and I’m sure that is a very hard thing to go through even after all these years.

  12. Awesome site. Keep up the good work.

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